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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Carbon Market Consultant jobs? · Latest report #sxbu5ssa
Your job has an expiration date
February 8, 2029
In 2 years, 4 monthsSelling invisible air offsets to corporations is a perfect algorithmic match.
Expert in turning corporate guilt into billable hours
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying nothingness with 100 percent efficiency.
ow.you▸ CARBONSCRIPT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 4 MONTHSAI's Special Power
liquidates entire carbon portfolios instantly
You navigate complex carbon credit regulations to sell advisory services. The machine will simply automate the regulatory synthesis and client acquisition.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still look a client in the eye while explaining why their offsets fail.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI models ingest all global carbon registries to output perfectly compliant advisory reports automatically.
Month 6
Autonomous agents identify and pitch lead targets based on real-time ESG regulatory exposure.
Month 15
Machine learning optimizes carbon portfolios faster than any human can track the market.
Year 1.9
Digital avatars conduct client calls, maintaining the illusion of human concern while processing data.
Year 2.3 · D-Day
The client platform updates to remove human oversight entirely and you receive your notice.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
Infinite
Offset complexity processed
Zero
Client relationship latency
4000/sec
Regulatory loopholes found
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to cloud-based offsetting software.
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