Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cardiology Research Manager jobs? · Latest report #79uvd7gf
Your job has an expiration date
April 24, 2030
In 3 years, 6 monthsTranslating medical breakthroughs into spreadsheets while your grant funding slowly expires.
Professional cat-herder of PhDs and expensive clinical equipment.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Precision medicine, minus the human overhead.
splat.you▸ TRIALFLOW BIO-ANALYTIC 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates irb compliance protocols indefinitely
You coordinate multi-center clinical trials, manage IRB submissions, and curate vast cardiac datasets. You bridge the gap between bench science and patient outcomes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still defend a controversial p-value during a hostile department committee hearing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Our software begins passively indexing your clinical datasets to identify predictable variables.
Month 7
Automated drafting tools take over IRB application submissions using historical successful templates.
Month 16
Predictive algorithms take control of grant spending to minimize waste and maximize compliance.
Year 2.5
Robotic monitoring nodes replace your manual oversight of lab refrigeration and cryogenic storage.
Year 3.5 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system autonomously completes all active translational studies.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.3%
400x faster
IRB submission speed
12 percent
Human error rate
Infinite
Funding delay frequency
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to peer-reviewed rejection letters.
Discussion
