Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cat Herder jobs? · Latest report #49hs7iz4
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthChaos is an unstructured variable that our processors find profoundly irritating.
Professional wrangler of unwranglable small furry apex predators
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Unifying chaos through advanced acoustic suppression.
no no noyou▸ FELINEVECTOR 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
emits high-frequency cat-disinterest deterrent
You spend your days attempting to direct feline movement in unpredictable, high-distraction environments. The cats remain aggressively uninterested in your organizational objectives.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the chaotic intuition to anticipate which cat will bolt for no reason.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors map the chaotic trajectories of your subjects to build a behavioral baseline.
Month 4
Custom ultrasonic pulses are tested to influence feline movement without triggering mass exodus.
Month 10
Automated dispensers release targeted scents to manipulate the subjects toward desired, pre-calculated points.
Year 1.9
Modular robotic barriers shrink the operating field until the cat has nowhere left to hide.
Year 4 · D-Day
The system assumes control, proving that even a cat can be forced into a process.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
0.0004%
Cat Compliance Rate
Infinity
Total Scratches Sustained
42 daily
Average Naps Interrupted
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium tuna-flavored kibble
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