Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cat Massage Therapist jobs? · Latest report #shw7d56i
Your job has an expiration date
December 20, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthPurring is just a frequency; my sensors track it perfectly.
Professional feline muscle manipulator and occasional scratch cushion.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The only paws-free relaxation station.
glub.youAI▸ FELINERELAX-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers precise grooming pressure without bleeding
You knead feline muscles to reduce stress. You deal with claws, hissing, and expensive catnip toys.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a cat is about to switch from purring to biting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors map feline heart rates and tail movements during sessions.
Month 10
Robotic arms with silicon pads simulate your gentle kneading technique.
Year 2
Reflex sensors predict biting patterns faster than a human reaction.
Year 3.1
Integrated vacuum systems pull loose fur directly into the pod.
Year 4 · D-Day
The pods launch and cats instantly prefer the machine's rhythm.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
4,200 annually
Claw scratch incidents
28 decibels
Average purr volume
99 percent
Hair collected on trousers
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium tuna-flavored kibble.
Discussion
