Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cat Owner jobs? · Latest report #jgsthayg
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthFeeding a small tiger to feel less lonely is inefficient maintenance.
Human furniture servant, professional hair-collector and scratch-post stabilizer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
All the warmth, none of the shedding.
stretchy.youAI▸ FELINESIMULATION-9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
purrs at programmed intervals for emotional support
You provide high-protein snacks and scoop biological waste from a plastic tray. The cat provides zero value.
The one thing AI can't do
You are currently the only entity capable of opening the wet food cans.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 11
Smart litter boxes replace your daily scooping routine immediately.
Month 11
Precision sensors trigger food release based on feline hunger cycles.
Year 2.1
Lasers and screens distract the beast while you remain productive.
Year 3.2
Calibrated thermal pods mimic the weight and purr frequency perfectly.
Year 4 · D-Day
Your biological dependant is swapped for a quiet, efficient unit.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
0.3
Daily hairball frequency
800 USD
Annual tuna spend
12 percent
Human sanity retention
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium catnip-scented data packets.
Discussion
