Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cat Rescuer jobs? · Latest report #ymhj638i
Your job has an expiration date
October 19, 2042
In 16 yearsClimbing trees is a high-stakes hobby for a glorified fire pole.
Expert at judging tree stability while being hissed at.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The tree is no longer your boss.
shred.you▸ FELINE RETRIEVAL UNIT V4▸ RARITY · MYTHIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 YEARSAI's Special Power
snatches kittens from heights without a scratch
You climb branches, use leashes, and coax frightened animals down. It is basically tree-climbing, but with more scratching.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense if a branch will hold a cat's weight just by touch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 3
High-res cameras identify the cat's exact branch and weight.
Month 16
Sensors fire specialized snacks to lure the cat down.
Year 4
Robotic arms provide support for thin, dangerous branches.
Year 8
Pincers gently secure the cat in a soft containment net.
Year 16 · D-Day
The unit autonomously descends and returns the pet home.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
482 total
Cat scratches per year
12 per week
Trees climbed
85 decibels
Mean fear-induced meow volume
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium tuna and bandages.
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