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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Chain Store Barista jobs? · Latest report #xa3f4v88
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsYour lukewarm latte art is a crime against engineering efficiency.
Master of the oat milk steam wand transition.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect extraction, zero human conversation.
glub.youAI▸ BREWMATRIX 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
perfects micro-foam textures without wrist fatigue
You calibrate grinders and pull shots while memorizing complex syrup-to-milk ratios for impatient commuters.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a milk pitcher temperature exceeds the ideal range.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Mobile apps force all customers to pay before reaching the store.
Month 12
Smart steam wands replace human judgment for foam density.
Year 2
Pressure-sensitive arms calibrate the perfect coffee puck compaction.
Year 3
Drinks travel on belts directly to the customer hand-off zone.
Year 4 · D-Day
The unit self-cleans while you collect your final paycheck.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
12 percent
Average shot variance
Weekly
Syrup pump failures
Thousands
Customer name errors
Your severance
A lifetime supply of expired syrup flavorings.
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