Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Child Care Assistant jobs? · Latest report #c4x94vtc
Your job has an expiration date
October 20, 2036
In 10 yearsRobots struggle with toddlers because they cannot appreciate chaotic, sticky, tiny humans.
Professional cat-herder for humans under five feet tall.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate disciplinarian for tiny, fast humans.





squeeze.you▸ NANNYUNIT V9▸ RARITY · EPIC▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 YEARSAI's Special Power
deploys walking-speed enforcement field
You track attendance, monitor safety, and constantly remind children to walk instead of run through the program facility.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a child is about to cry before the sound actually starts.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 16
Wearable tags monitor headcount so you stop counting every fifteen minutes.
Year 3.3
Overhead sensors flag running or potential injury risks instantly.
Year 5
Directional speakers automatically voice the 'walking' command at speeders.
Year 8
Mobile pods contain play zones, rendering your supervision largely redundant.
Year 10 · D-Day
The facility is fully automated, leaving you to find a new career.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.3%
42
Yells of 'Walking' per hour
99%
Floor juice spills intercepted
0.1%
Headcount accuracy variance
Your severance
A lifetime supply of non-toxic glue sticks.
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