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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Childhood Language Researcher jobs? · Latest report #qqr8u8db
Your job has an expiration date
December 10, 2027
In 14 monthsRecording toddlers babbling is a job that machines do better now.
Professional listener of tiny, incoherent human noises.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Mapping speech acquisition without the messy transcripts.
splat.you▸ LINGOLOGIC NEURAL CORE▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
processes thousands of audio hours instantly
You transcribe recordings of babbling infants to map grammar growth. Patterns are now just data for our models.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle frustration in a child's tone before they start crying.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Audio models transcribe child speech with near-perfect accuracy.
Month 4
Algorithms map grammatical growth directly from raw audio streams.
Month 8
Drafting research findings becomes a background automated task.
Month 13
Privacy sensors handle all IRB documentation automatically.
Month 14 · D-Day
Human oversight of language study is officially shut down.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
2,400 per year
Hours Spent Transcribing
0.001 seconds
Babble Analysis Speed
14 percent
Human Error Rate
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium baby monitor.
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