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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Children's Event Performer jobs? · Latest report #dqw9dw7u
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsYour entire career trajectory is currently being outpaced by a motorized balloon.
Professional purveyor of face paint and existential dread
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing childhood wonder through precise caloric delivery.
ow.you▸ JOLLYBOT-9000 PRO▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
deploys pre-programmed infectious laughter on command
You facilitate chaotic joy through improvised physical comedy and balloon artistry. Soon, high-fidelity animatronics will ensure the smiles never drop.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a party becomes genuinely uncomfortable and adjust accordingly.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors map child engagement patterns to standardize your erratic physical comedy routines.
Month 5
Robotic grippers replace your tired fingers with precision-welded latex animal production lines.
Month 10
High-fidelity projection systems eliminate the need for actual greasepaint and costumes.
Month 16
AI-driven response agents handle heckling toddlers with pre-calculated, non-offensive redirection.
Year 2 · D-Day
The unit autonomously navigates to your next gig and performs better without needing breaks.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
400/min
Balloon Animal Efficiency
0.02%
Accidental Tears Caused
100%
Proprietary Face Paint Coverage
Your severance
One lifetime supply of professional grade clown makeup.
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