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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Children's Party Face Painter jobs? · Latest report #vxf378w5
Your job has an expiration date
September 22, 2028
In 1 year, 11 monthsYour hand-painted tiger is a liability that needs a firmware update.
Visual artist for the tantrum-prone demographic.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect motifs without the hygiene concerns.
bzzt.youAI▸ FACEBOT PROJECTION UNIT▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 11 MONTHSAI's Special Power
projects high-definition masks onto fidgeting faces
You apply cosmetic pigments to squirming children at birthday events while managing parents and themed party queues.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense exactly when a toddler is about to burst into tears mid-session.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 12
Sensors map the child's facial structure to ensure alignment.
Month 5
Tablet interfaces let the child pick from infinite digital designs.
Month 12
Laser projectors adjust for movement in real time.
Month 18
Robotic spray nozzles apply cosmetic paint with sub-millimeter precision.
Year 1.9 · D-Day
Your brushes are recycled and the machine takes the party.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
4.2 seconds
Seconds per squirming target
0.00 percent
Hygiene incident reports
Zero
Smudge rate
Your severance
One lifetime supply of professional grade body paint.
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