Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Civil Service Private Secretary jobs? · Latest report #4rizu5x9
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou exist solely to ensure a Minister never encounters reality unprepared.
Managing ministerial egos via Outlook calendar invites.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Policy precision without the pesky tea breaks.
oof.youAI▸ WHITEHALL-OS V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters incoming policy dissent in real time
You draft ministerial correspondence and brief principals on complex policy files before high-stakes departmental meetings.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a Minister is lying to the select committee during a hearing.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Language models generate perfectly redacted first drafts of all correspondence.
Month 5
Smart agents resolve ministerial scheduling conflicts without human negotiation.
Month 10
Sensors and analytics determine which issues actually reach the Minister.
Month 15
Real-time data feeds replace human summaries of complex policy files.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your digital interface is decommissioned as the system takes full control.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
4,200 annually
Briefings ghostwritten
99.9% rate
Redacted paragraphs
Non-applicable
Tea delivery efficiency
Your severance
A warm letter of thanks and a pension deficit.
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