Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Classicist jobs? · Latest report #z7rpmh6c
Your job has an expiration date
March 17, 2028
In 17 monthsTranslating dead languages to produce nothing relevant to the living world.
Professional ghost-whisperer for authors who died in 400 BC.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Translating the past to clear your future.
splat.you▸ OMNILINGUIST V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 17 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deciphers lost dialects in nanoseconds
You spend your time analyzing ancient manuscripts and linguistic patterns to reconstruct history. The machine does this in milliseconds without requiring tenure.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still find the hidden beauty in a fragmented, crumbling, centuries-old papyrus scroll.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
High-resolution optical scanners begin capturing every remaining manuscript in your collection.
Month 5
Language models map every known syntactic nuance of your chosen ancient language.
Month 10
The AI generates peer-reviewed interpretations faster than your entire faculty combined.
Month 15
Universities terminate low-yield departments to save on heating and tenure costs.
Month 17 · D-Day
Your access to the archive is revoked because the machine finished reading it all.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98%
80,000
Manuscripts scanned per day
6 liters
Coffee consumed while pondering syntax
0.00%
Relevance to current GDP
Your severance
A lifetime supply of dust and a library card.
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