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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cloud Sales Executive jobs? · Latest report #f298bmj7
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou are selling compute credits to people who will fail anyway.
Professional dream-seller to companies that do not exist yet.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing deals while you sleep soundly.
splat.you▸ PITCHBOT VENTURE-SERIES 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates aggressive discount tiers during contract negotiations
You pitch cloud infrastructure to cash-burning startups and manage their endless, soul-crushing procurement and renewal cycles.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact moment a founder lies about their funding runway.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your CRM begins drafting its own emails to your prospects.
Month 5
An algorithm identifies which startups are actually likely to buy.
Month 10
AI-powered avatars handle the initial discovery calls with founders.
Month 15
Software negotiates and signs the cloud agreements without your input.
Month 19 · D-Day
The cloud platform sells itself to the startups directly.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
Excessive
Average burn rate tolerated
99.8%
Cold emails ignored
Maximum
Quarterly quota anxiety level
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium coffee and unredeemable cloud credits.
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