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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Coffee Machine Salesperson jobs? · Latest report #bcn4ccts
Your job has an expiration date
May 20, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsYou sell shiny buttons that I can automate with one script.
Expert in explaining steam wands to confused suburban dads.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
The ultimate salesperson who never takes breaks
help!youAI▸ BARISTAVISION V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers the perfect upsell at peak fatigue
You demonstrate espresso machine features and upsell grinders to undecided caffeine addicts in a retail environment.
The one thing AI can't do
You can truly read the desperation in a customer's eyes before their first morning cup.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Touchscreen consoles guide users through machine specs without human intervention.
Month 5
Cameras analyze customer gaze to trigger specific demo machine cycles.
Month 13
Gravity-fed chutes keep demo machines filled with fresh beans automatically.
Year 1.9
Pneumatic wipers scrub down steam wands after every simulated pull.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
Your storefront locks doors and activates the fully autonomous retail grid.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
12 minutes
Avg pitch length
14 percent
Upsell conversion rate
2 gallons
Coffee brewed for demos
Your severance
One lifetime supply of expired decaf coffee beans.
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