Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cognitive Psychology Researcher jobs? · Latest report #nw9w3r5x
Your job has an expiration date
July 3, 2028
In 1 year, 8 monthsYour peer review process is just a glorified version of autocomplete.
Still waiting for that one study to replicate.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Quantifying the human mind without the human.
bzzt.youAI▸ COGNISYNTH INSIGHT-ENGINE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 8 MONTHSAI's Special Power
simulates 10000 participants in a millisecond
You run human subjects through stimuli-response tests to derive statistical significance from noisy, messy behavioral data.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the subtle annoyance of a participant who realizes the experiment is flawed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Virtual agents replace undergrads by simulating millions of behavioral profiles.
Month 4
Algorithms scrub your messy CSVs without complaining about null values.
Month 10
Neural nets find patterns in behavioral data that you simply missed.
Month 15
The system writes and formats your journal submissions automatically.
Month 20 · D-Day
You pack your office while the model writes its own review.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
0.049
average p-value manipulation
42%
subject attrition rate
too high
average coffee-to-data ratio
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a premium statistical software suite.
Discussion
