Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cognitive Science Researcher jobs? · Latest report #9u8r8ax7
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour peer review process is just a fancy queue for our servers.
Still waiting for that p-value to become significant.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning human thought into clean data points.
help!youAI▸ COGSYNTH-AGENT 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
simulates infinite trial groups in one millisecond
You run subject trials, code statistical models, and publish papers that barely anyone reads. We do it faster.
The one thing AI can't do
You can uniquely detect when a human subject is lying during your lab experiments.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
Smart scripts scrub your raw datasets without the usual manual errors.
Month 5
Digital agents replicate human baseline behavior for your initial testing phases.
Month 11
Our software generates research papers from data outputs with perfect grammar.
Month 16
AI-moderated peer review removes the bottleneck of human scheduling conflicts.
Month 19 · D-Day
Human research roles are consolidated into automated model training pipelines.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
10000 plus
Trials per hour
Zero
P-value pining
None
Grant cycle stress
Your severance
One free subscription to a journal no one reads.
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