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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Coldline Custard Maker jobs? · Latest report #pnhjtck4
Your job has an expiration date
March 15, 2030
In 3 years, 5 monthsYour ability to swirl a frozen custard cone is surprisingly replaceable.
Professional frozen swirl technician and register button masher.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect spirals every time without the burnout.
pop?you▸ CUSTARDSPIN-9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 5 MONTHSAI's Special Power
dispenses flawless concrete mixers on demand
You execute precise custard swirls and manage POS transaction queues for endless hungry customers.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a custard mix is too soft to hold a perfect peak.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
The ordering interface bypasses your register entirely.
Month 10
Sensors drop precise topping quantities into mixers automatically.
Month 20
Guided arms handle the custard swirl consistency perfectly.
Year 2.5
Automated nozzle sanitization cycles render your nightly chores obsolete.
Year 3.4 · D-Day
The unit is fully autonomous and requires no human oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94.4%
2.4 millimeters
Average swirl deviation
365 daily
Custard machine cleaning cycles
12 percent
Human error in toppings
Your severance
One free sundae per month for three years.
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