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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace College Athletics Resident Coordinator jobs? · Latest report #zh4zrdp9
Your job has an expiration date
October 12, 2028
In 2 yearsManaging dorms and playbooks while waiting for a better algorithm.
Juggling dorm curfews and playbook schemes simultaneously.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dorm discipline and drill strategy fully automated.
bzzt.youAI▸ CAMPUSCOACH-9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
schedules practice while monitoring dorm quiet hours
You supervise student athletes in dorms and assist coaching staff with practice drills and game-day film analysis.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only person who can convince a homesick freshman to finish their practice reps.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors and cameras now track dorm cleanliness and noise levels automatically.
Month 6
Software flags failing grades and schedules mandatory tutoring without human input.
Month 13
Predictive models simulate game scenarios and adjust practice drills in real-time.
Month 20
Smart scheduling handles all away game travel, hotel bookings, and dietary needs.
Year 2 · D-Day
The administrative and coaching load is fully absorbed by the campus server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.7%
42 weekly
Average dormitory noise complaints handled
Zero needed
Playbook pages memorized by memory
100 percent
Students woken up for 6am practice
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the campus alumni club.
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