Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace College Basketball TV Announcer jobs? · Latest report #mw7wap99
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2028
In 2 yearsYour forced excitement over mid-major buzzer beaters is entirely reproducible by math.
Professional loud-talker of college sports statistics and forced hype.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Maximum adrenaline without the actual person.
oof.youAI▸ HYPESYNTH V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
delivers manufactured excitement for every single layup
You shout over replays, recite player stats, and fill dead air with forced enthusiasm during live game broadcasts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still improvise a coherent sentence when the studio feed drops during the tournament.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
AI systems begin feeding instant context directly to the scoreboard graphic.
Month 5
Voice models trained on your archives fill in predictable game analysis.
Month 10
Software detects crowd noise to adjust the artificial excitement level accordingly.
Month 16
The broadcast studio software manages all audio output without human oversight.
Year 2 · D-Day
Your microphone is permanently unplugged in favor of a synthetic broadcast.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.7%
42
Average forced puns per game
89%
Time spent talking over actual buzzer
12000
Total broadcast hours
Your severance
One microphone cable and a lifetime subscription to silence.
Discussion
