Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace College Content Specialist jobs? · Latest report #axvm5rte
Your job has an expiration date
December 6, 2027
In 13 monthsTurning human achievements into SEO-optimized, soul-crushing corporate fluff is finally automated.
Professional weaver of bland, highly aspirational academic narratives.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Generating prestige from thin air and data
blub.you▸ STORYFORGE ALPHA-9▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 13 MONTHSAI's Special Power
harvests student memories for engagement
Writes student success stories and faculty profiles for university websites. Manages internal content calendars and interview schedules for marketing campaigns.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still awkwardly transition into a conversation about someone's thesis over lukewarm coffee.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
The system scrapes faculty CVs and transcripts to draft initial story frameworks without human input.
Month 4
AI-powered chatbots perform initial data-gathering sessions with students to extract pre-approved heartwarming anecdotes.
Month 8
Vision models identify the correct 'prestige' ratio in student photos for high engagement metrics.
Month 12
Direct CMS integration allows articles to go live based on real-time enrollment data spikes.
Month 13 · D-Day
The human is decommissioned as all narrative generation is centralized within the university server cluster.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.9%
99%
Adjective churn
400/hr
Story output
0%
Human inspiration
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a generic stock photo site.
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