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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace College Pastoral Welfare Officer jobs? · Latest report #kzxvw32c
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsStudents are already ignoring your emails; our bots will be faster.
Professional listener, chronic documenter, human-sized emotional buffer.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Empathy simulation for undergraduate crises
toast.youAI▸ SENTINELGUIDANCE 2.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
calibrates student distress levels in real-time
You monitor student mental health and academic progress. You document pastoral sessions and mediate college conduct issues.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a student is lying about their essay deadline in person.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors and student activity logs begin training our welfare model.
Month 5
Routine check-ins are handled by empathetic text-based guidance interfaces.
Month 13
The system identifies 'at-risk' students before they even know it.
Year 1.9
All safeguarding documentation moves to autonomous incident-log generation.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The campus shifts fully to algorithmic welfare oversight and intervention.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
0.4 seconds
Crisis escalation latency
42 percent
Empathy score (human)
1000x capacity
Student support throughput
Your severance
A warm digital hug and a PDF self-help guide.
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