Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace College Thrive Director jobs? · Latest report #92ktkg7e
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning student potential into a data-driven retention metric since last Tuesday.
Professional cat-herder of undergraduates and existential angst.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Optimizing student life via cold, hard logic.







bzzt.youAI▸ ACADEMIASYNC V4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers personalized motivational emails at 3am
You manage student wellbeing programs and track retention data. You facilitate workshops and mediate campus life conflicts.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a student is lying about why they missed their exam.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart bots send nudges to students based on their login patterns.
Month 4
Models scan student communications to predict who might drop out next.
Month 8
An interface parses complaints and assigns cleaning chores to students automatically.
Month 13
Deepfakes deliver your lectures without the need for eye contact.
Month 18 · D-Day
A single server script renders your entire office presence redundant forever.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
99.9% accuracy
Student engagement tracking
0ms
Workshop delivery latency
100%
Empathy simulation bypass
Your severance
A LinkedIn badge saying you are a people person.
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