Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Collegiate Conservation Ambassador jobs? · Latest report #gzqw7fap
Your job has an expiration date
October 18, 2027
In 12 monthsConverting student idealism into digital metrics, one algorithm at a time.
Professional campus stalker and spreadsheet enthusiast
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated engagement for the next generation.
toast.youAI▸ CAMPUSPULSE OUTREACH UNIT▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 12 MONTHSAI's Special Power
sends targeted push notifications to sleepy students
You recruit students and build campus chapters to gather donations and membership signups for conservation initiatives.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still lie to a freshman about how much this looks good on a resume.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Sensors identify high-density student hotspots on your campus.
Week 11
Social media bots replace your awkward quad-side table conversations.
Month 5
QR codes replace your physical donation sheets and checks.
Month 8
Discord servers take over your physical club meeting duties.
Month 12 · D-Day
The campus hub turns off and you go offline permanently.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
0.04 percent
Conversion per dorm
Low
Student trust index
3 cups
Coffee consumed per lead
Your severance
A non-transferable coupon for a reusable water bottle.
Discussion
