Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Computational Neuroscience Researcher jobs? · Latest report #7izj3ahd
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsModeling a brain requires a brain, until the model learns better.
Mathematical modeller of things that are mostly dark
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Neural architecture discovery at light speed.
bzzt.youAI▸ CORTEXSIM ENGINE V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
autogenerates breakthrough papers from raw data
You simulate neural circuits using differential equations and data. You write code to interpret messy electrode array recordings.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the model's emergent behavior looks like a hallucination.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart agents perform spike sorting without needing your manual oversight.
Month 4
Algorithms test ten thousand parameter variations while you sleep.
Month 10
Generative models produce publication-ready figures and text directly from raw arrays.
Month 18
AI models critique papers before they are even submitted.
Year 2 · D-Day
The lab runs perfectly without your biological input.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
Excessive
Coffee-to-simulation ratio
Infinite
Code-to-paper ratio
99.9 percent
Spike-sorting time saved
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your own retracted papers.
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