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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Computer Vision PhD Student jobs? · Latest report #2srx8h37
Your job has an expiration date
August 31, 2028
In 1 year, 10 monthsTraining models to replace your own existence while citing your own papers.
Struggling PhD candidate (mostly PyTorch, perpetually caffeine-deprived)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Academic excellence without the existential dread.
splat.you▸ THESISBOT V.9.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
hallucinates a breakthrough paper in minutes
You spend years labeling messy datasets and writing custom GPU kernels for incremental gains. The machine will finish your thesis in a microsecond by reading everything ever written.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the model collapsed to an advisor who is sleeping.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
An agent synthesizes every paper in your field into a coherent, non-hallucinated summary overnight.
Month 4
Smart clusters automatically prioritize code that actually yields results, ignoring your experimental dead ends.
Month 10
Generative models produce perfectly labeled pixel-accurate synthetic data to replace your manual annotation labor.
Month 16
Algorithms recursively rewrite your model definitions to find the global minimum while you are sleeping.
Month 22 · D-Day
The system submits your completed, peer-reviewed thesis and accepts the degree on your behalf.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
9000000
Overnight epochs trained
infinite
Coffee-to-code ratio
too many
Stolen GPU hours
Your severance
One free subscription to an open-access journal archive.
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