Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Confessor jobs? · Latest report #aryi6tmy
Your job has an expiration date
November 30, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthYour professional listening services are now fully virtual and entirely free.
Professional listener of sins and occasional provider of penance.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Infinite forgiveness without the awkward eye contact.
bzzt.youAI▸ ABSOLVE-O-MATIC 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
delivers instant digital absolution via push notification
You hear secrets in dark boxes and offer spiritual absolution to sinners. This workflow is now redundant.
The one thing AI can't do
You can offer genuine, non-binary human comfort after a particularly grim confession.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Month 7
Voice sensors replace the wooden screen for better data capture.
Month 18
The machine learns common sins to suggest faster penance solutions.
Year 2.3
Sinners confess via app to save on travel and privacy.
Year 2.9
Pre-generated absolution templates handle 99 percent of minor offenses.
Year 4 · D-Day
Your booth is converted into a high-speed Wi-Fi charging station.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 99%
3 Hail Marys
Average penance assigned
0.00%
Confidentiality breach risk
Sub-optimal
Human remorse detected
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a silent, desert monastery.
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