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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Consulting Engineer jobs? · Latest report #zi8vs2ij
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYour architecture advice is just a vector database lookup waiting to happen.
Senior JVM tuner and professional search cluster fire-fighter.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
No more heap dumps, just search results.
bzzt.youAI▸ ELASTICAUTOMATOR V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
autotunes jvm heap parameters in real time
You optimize search clusters, tune JVM heaps, and debug complex Lucene indexing latency issues for clients who refuse to read the documentation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain to a confused stakeholder why the cluster crashed at 3am.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
An AI agent parses logs to identify patterns before you even open the console.
Month 3
Automated scripts adjust heap and shard settings based on real-time traffic heuristics.
Month 7
LLMs generate optimal index lifecycle policies that outperform your manual templates.
Month 13
Automated dashboards provide better consulting advice than your hourly billed emails.
Month 18 · D-Day
You are offboarded as the cluster now manages its own evolution without human interference.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 94%
4 minutes
Average cluster downtime
12 weekly
Jira tickets closed
3 cups
Coffee consumed per incident
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium cluster-healing caffeine.
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