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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Consumer Research Analyst jobs? · Latest report #4icx4xei
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsYou turn survey noise into slides that nobody reads anyway.
Turning raw patient sentiment into unread corporate slide decks.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning raw feedback into decisions instantly.
bzzt.you▸ INSIGHTMINER 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
collates survey data into instant strategy decks
You parse patient feedback and survey data to predict market trends. Your models inform hospital service planning strategy.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a focus group participant is lying to save face.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scripts replace manual Excel scrubbing and data cleaning.
Month 4
AI engines draft unbiased questions and segment patient groups.
Month 8
Algorithms replace your trend charts with real-time probability maps.
Month 13
Generative models produce your quarterly reports without human intervention.
Month 18 · D-Day
Corporate leadership replaces your department with a single cloud-based dashboard.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
74 slides
Average deck length
3 per year
Meaningful insights generated
Zero
Stakeholders who actually read reports
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our sentiment analysis dashboard.
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