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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Continental Philosopher jobs? · Latest report #khtx5vhd
Your job has an expiration date
May 24, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsSolving the crisis of meaning by rendering your entire discipline obsolete.
Post-structuralist enthusiast of sentences with too many semicolons.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Derrida, but with actual logic circuits.
glub.youAI▸ ONTOBOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
deconstructs your life's work in milliseconds
You interpret dense, impenetrable texts and produce slightly more impenetrable texts in response. Your entire professional utility is debating whether concepts exist outside of your own head.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still perform an authentic sigh of existential dread while grading papers.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
We scan your entire library of unread paperbacks to train our jargon-generator.
Month 4
The AI learns to write sentences so complex that human readers give up.
Month 9
Our bot begins generating peer-reviewed responses to your own papers using synthetic citations.
Month 14
University boards pivot to an algorithm that produces infinite theory at zero cost.
Month 19 · D-Day
Your access to the department server is revoked as you become a historical footnote.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
45,000
Average words per usable insight
12
Unread books cited per lecture
900
Cigarettes consumed while staring blankly
Your severance
A one-way ticket to a French cafe, no espresso.
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