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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Contrabass Clarinetist jobs? · Latest report #xvpt78kh
Your job has an expiration date
May 19, 2029
In 2 years, 7 monthsA lot of wood and keys just to vibrate air inefficiently.
Professional low-frequency wind manipulator and reed-adjustment artist.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect resonance without the oxygen deprivation.
split.youAI▸ REEDSYNTH HARMONIC PROCESSOR 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARS, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
emulates authentic acoustic imperfections
Operating an oversized woodwind instrument that requires precise reed adjustment, complex fingerings, and massive lung capacity.
The one thing AI can't do
You are the only one who can coax a low-register growl from a splintered reed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Optical readers convert your sheet music into precise frequency data.
Month 5
Sensors map the specific timber of your antique wood tubing.
Month 13
Pneumatic actuators replace your lungs with calibrated air delivery.
Year 1.9
Smart materials adjust density to match the perfect pitch.
Year 2.6 · D-Day
The orchestra replaces your chair with a rack-mounted synthesizer.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.3%
Two hours
Average reed lifespan
Twenty pounds
Total instrument weight
Dangerously high
Oxygen consumption
Your severance
One free box of size 2.5 synthetic reeds.
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