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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Contrast Therapy Associate jobs? · Latest report #b6r4nvbr
Your job has an expiration date
April 14, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsSelling ice baths to people who have everything except common sense.
Professional towel-folder and ice-bath enthusiast.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Perfect temperature, zero small talk.
split.youAI▸ CRYOCONCIERGE V.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
greets clients with perfectly calibrated small talk
You facilitate sauna cycles and cold plunge sessions for luxury wellness seekers. Your day revolves around towel management, scheduling, and cleaning sanitized tanks.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually better than a sensor at sensing when a client is hungover.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scheduling software removes the need for you to answer phones or manage calendars.
Month 4
Automated chemical injectors and water filtration robots maintain plunge tanks without manual testing.
Month 9
Gantry-mounted arms automate towel distribution, folding, and replenishment in the locker room.
Month 15
Embedded sensors track client heat-shock progression and health, ending the need for human safety checks.
Month 18 · D-Day
The facility achieves total self-operation, rendering the front-desk associate role entirely obsolete.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.7%
Suboptimal
Towel folding efficiency
Maximum
Awkward client conversations
Unreliable
Ice machine uptime
Your severance
A lifetime supply of lukewarm bath water.
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