Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Conversion Rate Optimizer jobs? · Latest report #2m3cg7ss
Your job has an expiration date
August 28, 2027
In 10 monthsTesting button colors won't save you from your own math.
Professional button-shifter and spreadsheet enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated growth for the mindless masses
ow.youAI▸ OPTI-DRONE 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 10 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes entire funnels while you sleep
You run A/B tests on landing pages and obsess over funnel drop-off rates.
The one thing AI can't do
You are actually capable of explaining why the test results make zero sense.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
The system pulls all historical click data into a central model.
Week 11
Generative models produce thousands of page layouts instantly.
Month 5
Multi-armed bandit algorithms route users to optimal versions automatically.
Month 7
The machine fixes broken tracking pixels without human input.
Month 10 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system becomes self-optimizing.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
94%
Average A/B tests ignored
High
Meaningless p-value obsession
Negligible
Conversion lift potential
Your severance
One free subscription to a generic analytics dashboard.
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