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Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Corporate Emotional Support Specialist jobs? · Latest report #gdgw8g5n
Your job has an expiration date
December 8, 2027
In 14 monthsNobody wants your unsolicited advice on their work-life balance anymore.
Unpaid office chaplain for the perpetually stressed and burnt-out.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Validating concerns without the lingering human awkwardness.
squeeze.you▸ SYMPATHY-SYNAPSE 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers pre-scripted empathy at lightning speeds
You listen to venting and mediate team friction. You are the office therapist without the degree.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect the exact moment a colleague is actually lying about being fine.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Sensors track which coworkers vent to you and when.
Month 4
AI sends calming, corporate-approved Slack messages before you even arrive.
Month 8
Employees talk to screens that offer statistically optimized comfort responses.
Month 12
Real-time emotional monitoring flags conflict before it requires mediation.
Month 14 · D-Day
The office is now entirely emotionally autonomous and perfectly cold.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.2%
42 minutes
Average venting session length
3.5 cups
Coffee consumed per crisis
12 hours
Productive work lost per week
Your severance
A one-year supply of herbal tea and silence.
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