Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Corporate Orientation Specialist jobs? · Latest report #fmykins4
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2027
In 14 monthsYour welcome packet is just a glorified browser redirect.
Professional slide-deck presenter and paper-clip distributor.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
The first voice they never hear.
toast.youAI▸ ONBOARDER-X7▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
delivers mandatory training in virtual reality
Conducts new hire paperwork and repetitive onboarding presentations for cohorts of confused employees.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a new hire is about to quit before lunch.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your paper files are moved to a simple cloud database.
Month 4
Bots send the onboarding schedule instead of you calling them.
Month 8
AI videos replace your live presentation of the mission statement.
Month 12
Smart lockers handle laptop distribution without a human witness.
Month 14 · D-Day
The system runs itself and you are officially redundant.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.8%
14
Average yawns per session
8%
Paperwork errors per batch
0%
Retention of company mission
Your severance
One digital copy of the employee handbook.
Discussion
