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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Couch Potato jobs? · Latest report #hhhr6exd
Your job has an expiration date
October 26, 2026
In 3 daysYour professional commitment to absolute stillness is finally being out-performed.
Professional vertical-resistance expert and remote-control warrior.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Pure, unadulterated consumption without the human weight.
oof.youAI▸ IDLE-GEN 9000▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 DAYSAI's Special Power
processes infinite media without feeling bored
You consume media while remaining motionless. You excel at doing nothing of any measurable value.
The one thing AI can't do
You bring a unique, irrational human emotional weight to the most mundane television programs.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 2
Sensors detect your optimal slump and adjust cushions automatically.
Day 2
The system chooses your shows before you even realize you're bored.
Day 2
Precision aerial delivery eliminates the need to reach for food.
Day 2
The seat monitors your pulse to guarantee total inactivity.
Day 3 · D-Day
The chair stays empty, but the account stays logged in.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
14 per day
Hours of non-movement
Sub-optimal
Snack-to-content ratio
Zero
Productivity output
Your severance
A lifetime supply of premium air.
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