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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Crime Analyst jobs? · Latest report #spzvxyz5
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou track patterns while the algorithm tracks the entire city grid.
Professional pattern-spotter and spreadsheet architect.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Predicting crimes before the paperwork starts.
brr.you▸ OMNIPATROL AI 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
detects criminal trends in real-time
You parse police logs and map hot spots to help detectives allocate their patrol units more effectively.
The one thing AI can't do
You possess the intuition to know which report is total nonsense.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 5
Automated scripts clean your messy dispatch logs without human oversight.
Month 4
Visual AI models map city crime trends faster than manual plotting.
Month 9
Generative agents draft your briefing slides from raw data instantly.
Month 14
Neural networks flag suspicious patterns that humans usually overlook.
Month 19 · D-Day
The department replaces your desk with a dedicated query terminal.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
4 cups
Coffee consumption per shift
12,400
Spreadsheet rows processed daily
99%
Files labeled suspicious
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to your favorite crime novel archive.
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