Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Criminal Investigator jobs? · Latest report #tscqeiaw
Your job has an expiration date
December 1, 2030
In 4 years, 1 monthSolving car theft by chasing paper, one spreadsheet at a time.
Master of paperwork, hunter of chop shops, paper-trail enthusiast.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Closing cases before the engine even cools.
splat.you▸ AUTODETECT 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARS, 1 MONTHAI's Special Power
correlates 50,000 traffic feeds per millisecond
You track stolen vehicle reports, interview witnesses, and scour surveillance footage to identify suspects in grand theft auto.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still read the nuance of a lie during a nervous face-to-face interview.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 6
AI starts cross-referencing all open theft cases with public video feeds.
Month 8
Natural language software writes your case files faster than you type.
Month 19
Algorithms predict where the stolen car will surface before you arrive.
Year 2.9
AI filters out unreliable witness testimony before you even look at it.
Year 4 · D-Day
Centralized machine oversight replaces all human investigative field work.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96%
84 files
Cold case stack depth
12 percent
Human error rate
14,000 yearly
Suspects missed
Your severance
A vintage steering wheel lock and a bus pass.
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