Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Criminology Researcher jobs? · Latest report #5rsw3pfu
Your job has an expiration date
February 14, 2028
In 16 monthsPredicting recidivism with a spreadsheet is cute until the model starts guessing.
Master of qualitative nuance and caffeinated theory synthesis.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning decades of case files into instant graphs.
wheee!you▸ CRIMELOGIC-PRO 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 16 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters infinite datasets into biased policy suggestions
You code interviews into themes and hunt for patterns in crime data. Your desk is a graveyard of PDFs.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still articulate the nuance of a social theory without crashing the parser.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scripts scrub your messy spreadsheets clean of human typos.
Month 4
Language models tag your qualitative interview transcripts in seconds flat.
Month 8
Aggregator bots write your literature reviews faster than you can blink.
Month 13
Neural nets output crime trends without needing your slow, human input.
Month 16 · D-Day
Your access is revoked as the system concludes its own study.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
45,000
PDFs processed per hour
200
Coffee cups per thesis
94%
Human error probability
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our dataset aggregator.
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