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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Crisis Communications Account Executive jobs? · Latest report #w6vzf76e
Your job has an expiration date
July 23, 2028
In 1 year, 9 monthsYou sell manufactured panic to clients who pay for your anxiety.
Senior PR professional managing the inevitable corporate dumpster fires.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated damage control for your bottom line.
splat.you▸ CRISISBOT RESPONSE MATRIX V4▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 9 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters outrage into a calm press release
Drafts reactive press statements and manages client sentiment during reputational disasters. Constantly monitors news cycles for emerging threats.
The one thing AI can't do
You alone know which client executives will actually lose their minds under pressure.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Sensors ingest social media noise to detect scandals before you do.
Month 5
AI churns out fifty versions of an apology in seconds.
Month 10
Clients click buttons to issue responses without human handholding.
Month 16
Bots automatically pitch the correct outlets with verified data.
Month 21 · D-Day
Your access credentials expire as the software handles the crisis.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
4 per day
Average panic cycles
12 versions
Drafts per disaster
35 percent
Billable hours lost
Your severance
A LinkedIn recommendation and one month of coffee credit.
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