Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Crochet Artisan jobs? · Latest report #pga8djq8
Your job has an expiration date
October 22, 2030
In 4 yearsYour hands are slow, but your hobby is expensive to automate.
Human interface for industrial knotting sequences.
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One human is building a game about fighting back.
Stitching at the speed of light.
oof.youAI▸ HOOKMASTER 9000▸ RARITY · RARE▸ DEPRECATION IN 4 YEARSAI's Special Power
loops infinite intricate knots without pausing
You manually manipulate yarn into plush patterns. It requires infinite patience and fine motor control.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense the exact tension needed to keep a plush from sagging.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 13
Your paper patterns are fed into a central design library.
Month 11
Sensors learn how to pull yarn without breaking delicate fibers.
Month 22
Robotic pincers begin replicating basic granny square structures.
Year 2.9
High-pressure hoses insert fiberfill into shapes perfectly every time.
Year 4 · D-Day
The HookMaster factory completes your last order while you sleep.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.6%
450
Stitches per hour
12%
Yarn waste percentage
Daily
Average finger cramps
Your severance
One free lifetime subscription to yarn analytics.
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