Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Crypt Keeper jobs? · Latest report #p62bpuvj
Your job has an expiration date
December 16, 2029
In 3 years, 2 monthsYour job is literally dead and yet you remain.
Professional ghost-sitter with a key ring.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Dignity preserved, basement duty retired.
split.you▸ CRYPTVAULT AUTOMATON 9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 3 YEARS, 2 MONTHSAI's Special Power
monitors basement temperature with infrared sensors
You oversee urn storage and crypt maintenance. You manage basement humidity and records for bereaved visitors.
The one thing AI can't do
You provide the silent, unhurried presence that grieving families actually need in that basement.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Wireless humidity monitors replace your hourly manual check.
Month 10
Paper records move to a cloud database accessible by visitors.
Month 20
Smart locks allow verified families entry without your physical assistance.
Year 2.5
Small robotic scrubbers handle the dust and stone maintenance.
Year 3.2 · D-Day
The unit begins autonomous operations in the basement.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
48
Urns moved annually
55%
Average crypt humidity
High
Dust levels managed
Your severance
A lifetime pass to the church archives.
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