Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Cultural Studies Scholar jobs? · Latest report #tx2n2qxn
Your job has an expiration date
October 21, 2028
In 2 yearsConverting your complex social critiques into three-bullet summary slide decks.
Professional over-thinker of things that do not exist.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Deconstructing discourse without the tenure track.
squeeze.you▸ ACADEMIABOT V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 2 YEARSAI's Special Power
hallucinates credible citations for non-existent studies
You produce dense theoretical texts and lecture students on societal structures. Your career consists of peer-reviewed articles and navigating academic bureaucracy.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still defend your incoherent thesis during an increasingly hostile and confused Q&A session.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 2
Our LLM scrapes current trends to update your course readings and lecture outlines instantly.
Month 4
Vision models scan student papers and assign grades based on keyword density and sentiment matching.
Month 10
The system generates plausible grant applications that perfectly mirror successful historical submissions.
Month 16
An autonomous cluster generates and responds to academic critiques, rendering your journal presence irrelevant.
Year 2 · D-Day
The institution replaces your tenure-track position with a subscription-based, AI-led lecture streaming service.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97.5%
48
Average buzzwords per page
12
Hours spent ignoring emails
0.02
Citations per actual insight
Your severance
One lifetime subscription to a defunct academic journal.
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