Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Dandruff Appraiser jobs? · Latest report #44auvuqx
Your job has an expiration date
April 20, 2027
In 6 monthsYour career has reached its expiration date and honestly, it’s flaking off.
Professional skin-shedding enthusiast with a high disgust threshold.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Automated scalp health and flake diagnostics.
bzzt.you▸ DERMOSCAN-X1▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
identifies scalp conditions with laser accuracy
You perform tactile scalp inspections and olfactory analysis of skin shedding. This role is a textbook case for immediate digital image processing and sensor-based automation.
The one thing AI can't do
You can distinguish between dry scalp and product buildup with a single, lingering sniff.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 8
High-resolution macro cameras begin training a neural network on your proprietary flake classification standards.
Week 5
Automated suction sensors replace your tactile fingertips by measuring particle density through vacuum pressure analysis.
Week 10
Electronic nose arrays are installed to detect chemical compounds far faster than any human sniff test.
Month 4
Software automatically generates precise flake-profile reports, eliminating the need for your handwritten daily logs.
Month 6 · D-Day
The unit is powered down and the DermoScan-X1 assumes full control of the entire scalp assessment facility.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.8%
200/sec
Flake throughput
99.9%
Olfactory precision
Exceeded
Human disgust threshold
Your severance
One complimentary jumbo bottle of industrial shampoo.
Discussion
