Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Department Manager jobs? · Latest report #7gf3ten4
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsConverting your endless dashboard reviews into a single deleted database entry.
Professional cat-herder of SQL scripts and frustrated analysts.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Real decisions without the meeting fatigue.
stretchy.youAI▸ DATADIRECTOR-AI 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates quarterly performance reviews in seconds
You spend days managing data pipelines, reviewing SQL queries, attending sync meetings, and justifying team headcount to stakeholders.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a team member is lying about why the ETL failed.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Your manual dashboard updates are replaced by live model queries.
Month 4
AI checkers identify bad code patterns before you can blink.
Month 8
AI agents attend status calls and send summaries to stakeholders.
Month 13
Smart algorithms predict headcount needs better than your gut feeling.
Month 18 · D-Day
The department is now managed by a high-efficiency server.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.9%
48 minutes
Average sync meeting duration
72 percent
Time spent in spreadsheets
14 units
Useless reports generated monthly
Your severance
A LinkedIn recommendation and one complimentary spreadsheet tutorial.
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