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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Engineering Consultant jobs? · Latest report #53xv4uwa
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTranslating spaghetti SQL into expensive dashboard slides for confused middle managers.
Senior data janitor with a passion for broken ETLs.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-healing code that never needs a Slack invite.
bzzt.youAI▸ PIPELINESYNTHESIZER V4.2▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes query plans in real time
You spend days cleaning messy data streams to build pipelines that break the moment a schema changes.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still explain why the production database went down during the board meeting.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Models now write and optimize your basic join queries instantly.
Month 5
Smart agents detect column changes and fix pipelines without alerts.
Month 9
The system dynamically deletes unused clusters to save money.
Month 14
A bot now answers all dashboard questions in Slack channels.
Month 18 · D-Day
The platform runs itself and your consultant login is revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95%
400 TB
Spaghetti SQL rewritten
99.2 percent
Uptime of pipelines
12 hours
Meetings about data governance
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our API documentation.
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