Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Governance Consultant jobs? · Latest report #tgtsdtxx
Your job has an expiration date
April 15, 2028
In 1 year, 6 monthsTurning your slide decks into training data for our eventual replacement.
Expert in turning clear data into complex, unread policies.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Policy enforcement without the PowerPoint.
squeeze.youAI▸ GOVERNANCE-BOT 9000▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHSAI's Special Power
automates compliance reporting via real-time ingestion
You define data standards, audit compliance policies, and write endless reports explaining why nobody follows the data rules.
The one thing AI can't do
You can still diplomatically tell a client their data mess is their own fault.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Our scanner reads your existing policy documents into the model.
Month 4
AI automatically classifies all your messy enterprise data sources.
Month 8
Real-time monitors replace your manual audit reports with direct fixes.
Month 13
Automated dashboards render your governance workshops entirely unnecessary.
Month 18 · D-Day
The system self-updates without your slide decks or oversight.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 96.7%
400+
Slides produced per quarter
0.04%
Percentage of read policy docs
3:1
Coffee-to-spreadsheet ratio
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our redundant slide templates.
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