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Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Platform Engineer jobs? · Latest report #784rwgt3
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYou spend all day building the cage that will replace you.
Senior Data Platform Engineer (mostly YAML, deep in S3)
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Self-healing architecture for the cloud era.
bzzt.youAI▸ AUTOSCHEMA V9▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
optimizes queries before you notice they're slow
You build pipelines and manage cloud databases. You obsess over uptime while users complain about slow queries.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense when a cluster is failing just by hearing the fans spinning wrong.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
An agent categorizes and closes your backlog automatically.
Month 4
The system identifies slow SQL and rewrites it itself.
Month 9
The cluster provisions its own capacity without your approval.
Month 13
A script moves your legacy data to a cheaper provider.
Month 19 · D-Day
The server locks you out and turns off your access.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 97%
99.9%
Pipeline uptime percentage
12 weekly
Hours spent on JIRA
too many
Average latency complaints
Your severance
A cloud subscription you cannot cancel.
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