Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Plumber jobs? · Latest report #wsjcrca4
Your job has an expiration date
May 25, 2028
In 1 year, 7 monthsYour digital pipe dreams are being rerouted to a server farm.
Expert in fixing leaky pipelines that nobody else understands.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Cleaning messy data streams at light speed.
squeeze.you▸ DATAPIPE LOGIC ENGINE 4.0▸ RARITY · UNCOMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 1 YEAR, 7 MONTHSAI's Special Power
unclogs corrupted data streams in real time
You scrape raw data from messy sources and build scripts to pipe it into structured storage formats.
The one thing AI can't do
You can sense why the legacy database schema is so hauntingly broken.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Day 10
Smart bots start scraping your messy web sources with precision.
Month 5
Machine learning models learn to normalize your chaotic data structures.
Month 10
Autonomous scripts fix their own syntax errors without human input.
Month 15
Visual dashboards replace your manual SQL query writing routines.
Month 19 · D-Day
The logic engine runs the entire data stack flawlessly alone.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 95.1%
47
Average pipe leaks per project
800
Hours spent debugging bad SQL
Limited
Data pipeline throughput
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to a cloud storage provider.
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