Retrieving the file
Live· 4,218,906 positions deprecated· 4,218,906 deprecated· 1,284 today
Average time-to-redundancy: 11.3 months
Know before your role does.
pssst. this is to sign up for updates on the game ;)
Will AI replace Data Reporter jobs? · Latest report #g8e5zkd2
Your job has an expiration date
December 17, 2027
In 14 monthsYou turn rows of numbers into prose that nobody reads anyway.
Formatting Excel columns until the heat death of universe.
Check another roleComment your opinionor JOIN THE RESISTANCE!
One human is building a game about fighting back.
Turning raw data into absolute truth instantly.
no no noyou▸ FACTMINER PRO 4▸ RARITY · COMMON▸ DEPRECATION IN 14 MONTHSAI's Special Power
filters and publishes datasets without sleep
You scrape messy databases and write summary reports. You polish spreadsheets until they look like actual journalism.
The one thing AI can't do
You can detect when a database column has been mislabeled by a bored intern.
Your enemy, your name, your date. Post it.
Step by step, from the first quiet change to Deprecation Day.
Week 4
Smart scripts automatically remove all those blank rows for you.
Month 3
Background agents run your queries before you even wake up.
Month 6
A language model summarizes the numbers into readable bullet points.
Month 10
Live data feeds replace your manual spreadsheet updates entirely.
Month 14 · D-Day
Your access to the database server is permanently revoked.
What you cost, what the machine costs, and what you get on the way out.
Per year
Savings: 98.4%
4000
Spreadsheets processed per hour
12 percent
Human error rate
90 percent
Time spent finding files
Your severance
A lifetime subscription to our worst data-scraping tool.
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